Today could have been better.Yesterday could have been a lot better. This week...
Oh, lets just say it, right now I'm just god damned furious.
I'm mad at my friends, I'm mad at my enemies. I'm mad at people I haven't spoken to in years, and I'm mad at people I have to speak to every day. I'm sick and tired of watching my world turn itself upside down, with each and ever step of the process feeling like I am walking uphill against an rock-slide.
I watched as someone who should never have been able to affect me at all managed to largely dislodge, and then hobble me from a job I love.
I went from having a working car to $400.00 more in repairs that won't finish before tomorrow afternoon.
My technical supervisor at work (one of 4 support staff I work under) is not only passive aggressive.... but he's bad at it, and with a short fuse.
My house has seen better days.
And then I come home from work, after forgetting my phone, after getting off work almost an hour late, and curiously enough I find this on my IM waiting for me.
"Hey. I'm going to begin my first paper over the 1066 invasion of England soon and I'm looking for sources. I'm supposed to compare and contrast the English and the Norman accounts of the event. Any suggestions on finding sources?"
Without even thinking I grabbed my laptop and punched in "look for 'the Anglo-Saxon chronicles', and look for a writer names William of Potiers, he was the Chaplin to William the Bastard."
Someone needed something, and just like that, I was able to help, or at least offer something to him.
I don't know why, exactly, but for some reason that academic question pulled me out of my ugly state long enough to see what needed to be done.
So, going forward.
As to my car... Old friend, you've given me 55,000 miles in two years, you've earned a rest. enjoy your time on the mounds and off your wheels.
As to my technical dispatcher... You can either loose the attitude, or hang onto it, I don't care. But I'm definitively not going to let your attitude follow me home again, that was just stupid on my part.
To ... oh hell, lets just name him... Charles... guess what, I'll deal with you some other time when I'm level headed, calm, and don't have an event staring me in the face.
And to a few others out there...
Jon... Look forward to seeing you out there, you're a good man, with a good heart, and I have come to cherish your commentary.
Derega... I think its time I pull my head out of my ass and start actually focusing on what I CAN do this weekend. I've been so busy fuming about the site heralding debacle that I was giving my promise to you lip service, and little more. Be ready for a show... because I plan on crying the shoot for you, and giving it all I have!
Zach... Good luck on your paper, and feel free to look me up anytime you want. 1066 is a benchmark year for English history, and I have read up on it a lot. Enjoy.
Oh, and Talbot.... I want a photo of you crossing the finish line of that 5K on Saturday, I don't care if they have to carry you across, I want a photo!
This weekend is OUR event dammit! I've been going to Triumph since the first, and Guardian before that since I first joined. Nothing sort of a natural disaster should be able to get between me and the fun that that event contains, and I'm not going to let anything start now! I'm ready to work my ass off, I'm ready to sweat off ten pounds, I ready to work until I hurt, and then pull myself up by my bootstraps and do it all again.
And I was a idiot for every forgetting that in the first place!