Saturday, January 19, 2008

A question of my motives

Their is nothing elegant about this post, because what happened to me this week wasn't elegant, or diplomatic, or even nice.

Someone I know, and know very well for that matter, walked up to me and questioned my motives for traveling around the North and attending 3 populace meetings other than my own in Mooneschadowe. He told me that I shouldn't be doing the Blackfeather News podcast because he "thinks its a good idea, but [he doesn't] have any faith in my ability to use good judgment about what belongs and doesn't belong in the show." according to him, all I am going to do is get a bunch of people mad at me because I going to say something online that I shouldn't have. And then to cap it all off, he implied very strongly that the only reason I am trying so hard to become a Golden Staff herald [one, and only one of my stated goals], was so that I could boss people around without actually winning crown. The truth be told, that last part was hinted at, but referenced several long, ongoing discussions we have had over the last year or so, so I stand by my interpretation.

So there you have it. It turns out that I do have at least one skeptic who thinks that I am a impulsive bastard who's just using the baronies as stepping stones for my own personal power quest.

Its not that personal advancement isn't in my mind. It is. I would be a lier and a hypocrite if I didn't admit that right here and now. And yes, I am setting my sights on becoming a Laurel some day, but I have no illusions about how far off that is, or how much work I have ahead of me.

sigh....

I would like to have thought that maybe I would have been a little further along in my personal quest before I started discovering who were my adversaries and detractors. But alas, I guess their is no good time to learn these things.

To those who know me, you know that my past is not spotless, and my future is indeed ambitious. But you know me, and I leave it to you to decide my merits and my motives. if I haven't shown my true colors to you, than that is my own failing.

And to those of you who don't...

If you're so inclined, I invite you to speak to some of my toughest critics; any of the currents barons and baronesses of Wiesenfeuer, Namron and Northkeep. It is to them that I have dedicated so much over the past months, and they, more than any other, have good reason to be fair, and just in their evaluations of me.

Do I have faults? Absolutely!
But I also have strengths!
And God as my witness, I intend use then to build up my abilities to serve my crown and kingdom.

In service to the dream.
Lord Ivo Blackhawk
Province of Mooneschadowe
Kingdom of Ansteorra
"God Save the King!"


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